Sweet 16?

Or 17. Around about that age anyway is how old these girls are meant to be. One thing that really bugs me is kids dressing like 30-year-old power women (hello Sea of Shoes). The shoe just really doesn't fit! And also the shoe of Harem Pants NEVER EVER fits, on ANYONE but a skinny-malinny 6ft tall model who could use the extra material to create illusions of other things in the thigh area.

But back to my point. Seeing as 16-year-olds are dressing like this these days, and I'm 22 and still being mistaken for a 16-year-old dressing like a 22-year-old, I guess the solution to my age problem is to start dressing like a 40-year-old lady who lunches??? No. I don't think so.

Is this just an accelerated version of the old playing dress-up in your mums heels and wearing the pinkest pink lipstick to your friends sleepover when you were seven? Now I'm not one of those cotton-wool parents, firstly because I don't have a child, and mostly because they really bug me. The parents who don't let their kids go to discos, or wash their laundry in Dettol, or who are totally outraged by Suri Cruise's excellent taste in shoes, handbags and nail polish shades. But am I naive and this is actually going to be Suri in 4 years time?

Look, everyone wants to grow up fast. Hell I (still) know the feeling of wanting to be looked at like you are 3 or 4 years older than you really are (or in my case getting the age bang on the nail is fine thanks). But dressing like you have ALREADY married the investment banker of your dreams and have found the world's most perfect nanny to raise your wonderfully worldly and cultured kids just looks a bit off in the teens. Or twenties even.

That crisp look which comes with having bought everything from net-a-porter only suits people who ACTUALLY have the above scenario. Why dive in all of that so fast when you can get away with a run in your stockings as a carefree nod to your carefree YOUNG life?

And besides, even if they were 30, THIS would still look better. Sigh, kids these days eh?