looking forward to the cold

or at least the cool. I'm so sick of this heat. I would like to be able to wear at least two layers of clothing. I don't want winter, that sucks too. I want autumn. I like spring and autumn, I hate extremes. I already have a new cable knit jumper and wool dress hanging in my wardrobe crying out to be worn. I'm also thinking about getting this anorak...


it's a bit primary school excursion day, but in a really good way.

Well, ok American Apparel...ok.

So what the hell is up with American Apparel? Certainly not it's stock. Lolz business jokes. But seriously, what the hell. Sure I'll buy these pants because I want to look just like this when I saddle up my horse. No, actually. No I don't.

Ok aside from the ridiculous use of nudity here, so ridiculous I'm not even going to go there and will leave that part up to you (I put my faith in you, ok!) but this chick looks terrible! Awful! Not even good looking for a girl with her boobs out who isn't totally shitfaced (even THAT girl would look better than this girl). WTF PANTS?! WTF?


Why is American Apparel so desperate to look so unflattering that it hurts to look? Why? I know they have this whole 'natural look' they aim for with their marketing and branding etc and good for them for not giving in to superficialities blah blah blah, right? Wrong I say. Their very 'natural' girls are awfully very skinny and pretty. YOU ARE STILL PLAYING THAT GAME AMERICAN APPAREL, WE CAN SEE YOU! Yet they STILL manage to come out looking weird. I don't get it Dov. Let me know what's going on with those pants once you know. (Actually what is with this trend of people who aim to look unflattering? Not 'individual'. Unflattering, full-stop. Huh? I DON'T GET IT??? Whatevs those peeps would love these pants!)

Oh, and, what's with the horse? Anyone else know the point of the horse and titties combination? And besides, the horse looks kind of ashamed to be part of these photos...am I right?

Oh, I forgot!

I read last week in le ole newspaper (yeah, remember them?!) and I'm sure you already know about because I have now turned into the world's most un-breaking news blogger, that American Apparel is bankrupt. Oh no, poor Dov. How ever will he pull babes ('on brand' babes only though) now? I've got a love/irk relationship with American Apparel. Dov bugs me, sleaze central. Their campaigns are pretty lol if anything. But their clothes are pretty cool - if not slightly expensive and occasionally terrible quality...Will they stay? Will they go? Let's all wear our ass-less tights and see.

The Anorak

Anoraks. What a naf concept, seriously who wears them? (Me). But despite their naf wrap they have become somewhat my life saver. Unless I'm at the beach, a water park, involved in a pre-planned summer water fight where I'm wearing appropriate clothes or in need of a shower I hate getting wet. I'm not the kind of person who can find the funny side of being hit in the face with a water bomb by a pesky child. I will only find anger. Annoying, out of control kids, you have been warned.

So having this grinch attitude towards water I have learned throughout my short life that an umbrella will most certainly NOT suffice.Sure umbrellas look quaint. You can buy them in pretty patterns. You can get a transparent one from $3(+GST) from Japan and pretend you are Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation. But if there is wind, if the rain is feeling a bit crazy that day and decides to go here, there and everywhere? Then the umbrella is a foe, not a friend. But you know what is a friend in those situations, yes the anorak!

I bought the above lovely little anorak from American Apparel at the beginning of the year in Melbourne when it was 42 degrees (I tell no lies) and knew it would come in handy one day. Today is the day. While I appreciate my American Apparel anorak from shielding me from the storm today, I must admit it does not have my complete heart. My heart really belongs to my primary school compulsory issue anorak.

Now this baby was ex-pen-sive! Let me tell you (or let my parents tell you). But oh boy was it worth every single cent. It wasn't just waterproof. It was WATERPROOF. Industrial is the word I'd use to describe it. You could sail the seven seas wrapped up in this baby (there was even a velcro fastening to cover two thirds of your face) and not even notice you were at sea. It also had snugs. Warm, warm, warm felt lining. So warm you'd think it was lined with some kind of animal pelt rather than felt. Oh god I miss it. And considering that I haven't grown a single inch since I was 12, I reckon I could still fit it! Mother kept my shameful uniform dresses but decided that the anorak was suited for a trade in at the uniform shop. Whhhhyyyy?

Lacey socks?

I've never really warmed to the lacey sock revival. Don't get me wrong, the look pretty sweet on most people and I think 'Hey lacey socks. That's cool.' But whenever I go to reach for a pair, memories from my childhood of surly little girls in poofy nylon dresses and shoes that squeak with their Filipino maid running after them just come flooding back, and I just can't quite do it. Or so I thought...Enter American Apparel - the saviour of all things basic/borderline slutty. NAVY BLUE lacey socks? Now these I think I can quite happily do.

I guess you've got to start somewhere

Oh, American Apparel. Only you would produce such borderline trashy children. Who knew trashy children even existed? American Apparel did, that's who. I do like her hair though...and those shorts...

Oh American Apparel

What the hell are the purpose of these tights? When would you ever reach for a pair of these thinking "where have you been all my life ass-less tights?" Aside from making your butt look about a hundred times bigger than it really is, I don't see any advantage to these - wait that's not an advantage! Seriously American Apparel, you're pretty much soft core porn aren't you?