A not-so-awkward (or painful) pre-teen

Is it weird for me to semi-idolise a 12-year-old? Elle Fanning is the bomb! SHE'S 12! Waaaay better than Dakota I reckon - Dakota was totes irritating at 12 with her gigantic toothy grin. That's all really, I think Elle is awesome.





This makes me want two things 1) cherry red Dr. Martens and 2) thinner hair.

Kidzzzz

Here is another rant about how I really don't get kids these days. I'm pretty confused, and astounded to be honest. But for the sake of not sounding too much like the over-concerned mother I'm not, I'm gonna keep this short, and hopefully sweet. It seems that these days if you are a young lass you are into fashion. Wait, let me correct myself. High fashion. It also seems that if you are between the ages of 12 to 18 you also have a very glossy blog, a SLR camera (which comes with a pension for taking outfit shots everyday) and a magical pot of gold in your tree house which allows you to buy Acne wedges and Balenciaga bags. W.T.F.?. Seriously. Yes I am a green eyed monster, yes! This crop of girls are not only boasting (literally on the internet) a better wardrobe than me, but are much, much, MUCH shiner than I can ever dream of being! AT FOURTEEN! HELLO!? Haven't they heard of braces? Have they even heard of Nickelodeon? Because it seems like they have only heard of Style.com and Christopher Kane. Yes these are the times we live in, the internet blah, blah, blah. But still, come on!

A Rather Unfortunate Name...

You know how there are some girls (or guys) out there you kind of wish you were - or at least you had access to their wardrobe? No surprises here that mine are Chloë Sevigny and Julia Restoin Roitfeld. But there is a little lassie who keeps on popping up who I can't really turn away from, kind of like a car crash situation. Atlanta de Cadenet Taylor. She's Duran Duran's John Taylor's daughter. Ooooh, one of those girls. Yes. She's a Cobra Snake favorite and looks like Rachel Bilson. I look at her photos and feel half annoyed by her mish-mash 'I'm a teenager so who gives a fuck' attitude, but then I keep looking. Anyway here she is looking very much like Lolita and sporting a raccoon hat in Exit Magazine.





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Sweet 16?

Or 17. Around about that age anyway is how old these girls are meant to be. One thing that really bugs me is kids dressing like 30-year-old power women (hello Sea of Shoes). The shoe just really doesn't fit! And also the shoe of Harem Pants NEVER EVER fits, on ANYONE but a skinny-malinny 6ft tall model who could use the extra material to create illusions of other things in the thigh area.

But back to my point. Seeing as 16-year-olds are dressing like this these days, and I'm 22 and still being mistaken for a 16-year-old dressing like a 22-year-old, I guess the solution to my age problem is to start dressing like a 40-year-old lady who lunches??? No. I don't think so.

Is this just an accelerated version of the old playing dress-up in your mums heels and wearing the pinkest pink lipstick to your friends sleepover when you were seven? Now I'm not one of those cotton-wool parents, firstly because I don't have a child, and mostly because they really bug me. The parents who don't let their kids go to discos, or wash their laundry in Dettol, or who are totally outraged by Suri Cruise's excellent taste in shoes, handbags and nail polish shades. But am I naive and this is actually going to be Suri in 4 years time?

Look, everyone wants to grow up fast. Hell I (still) know the feeling of wanting to be looked at like you are 3 or 4 years older than you really are (or in my case getting the age bang on the nail is fine thanks). But dressing like you have ALREADY married the investment banker of your dreams and have found the world's most perfect nanny to raise your wonderfully worldly and cultured kids just looks a bit off in the teens. Or twenties even.

That crisp look which comes with having bought everything from net-a-porter only suits people who ACTUALLY have the above scenario. Why dive in all of that so fast when you can get away with a run in your stockings as a carefree nod to your carefree YOUNG life?

And besides, even if they were 30, THIS would still look better. Sigh, kids these days eh?

Fringe

Let's have another trip down Sarah's fashion memory line. Fringe. It's having a little comeback is it not? I'm a bit undecided on this 'hippy-chic' comeback. On the one hand it's cool and makes you look like a carefree hippy. On the other hand it's lame and makes you look like you are trying to be a carefree hippy or a lame excuse of an Erin Wasson lookalike. When I was a kid my best friend and I had matching fringed tops. They were plain white and slightly too big for us, so started out as small dresses rather than t-shirts. They were fringed along the sleeves and hem. However we didn't look like try hard hippies because a) we were children and b) each tassel was finished off with two see-through different coloured neon beads. Yes, neon beads. We looked so awesome! We sounded even better, and I'm sure any adult who had to supervise us playing in these outfits would confirm. This was one of my earliest decision to make a fashion conscious choice about my clothes. I KNEW I was ahead of the pack in this get up (especially paired with lycra bike pants - yet another comeback, yes indeed) Sadly I don't have any precious photos of this pivotal outfit of my life - maybe my parents were too ashamed to immortalise it in a photo. But use you imagination, I know you have one.

Lacey socks?

I've never really warmed to the lacey sock revival. Don't get me wrong, the look pretty sweet on most people and I think 'Hey lacey socks. That's cool.' But whenever I go to reach for a pair, memories from my childhood of surly little girls in poofy nylon dresses and shoes that squeak with their Filipino maid running after them just come flooding back, and I just can't quite do it. Or so I thought...Enter American Apparel - the saviour of all things basic/borderline slutty. NAVY BLUE lacey socks? Now these I think I can quite happily do.

Studs

No not hunky guys, the shiny stuff that goes on clothes, bags, shoes etc etc etc. I was quite excited by the more readily accessible studded stuff that began to come about in the last six months or so. I like studs, and without having a studding machine (if I did I'd probably go khu-razy and stud my entire life) ready made studded stuff was fantastic. BUT. Now it has gotten a little overboard. Annoying 14-year-old girl overboard. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to dress in a way different from high schoolers (and when you put my height and 'sweet-face' into the equation, this is pretty much impossible). Now studs aside, can we sit and think about this situation happening about ten or so years ago, say when I was an annoying 14-year-old girl. Well, it didn't happen. We didn't have the wonders of Supre or an accelerated sense of fashion. Sigh. I should just give up now, start lying about my age and do over my teenage and university years. Is this the answer to my life crisis? I hope so!

I guess you've got to start somewhere

Oh, American Apparel. Only you would produce such borderline trashy children. Who knew trashy children even existed? American Apparel did, that's who. I do like her hair though...and those shorts...

Too cute

Jon Benet anyone?

Look Bif, you started a trend. These are by artist Gretchen Ryan and I think they are totally awesome. A bit perverse. A bit haunting. A bit beautiful. A lot appealing.

I would totally wear this shit!

Stella McCartney for Gap Kids. Hell yes! I have been known to have shopped in the children's dept as a 'fully-grown' adult before...


xoxo gossip S

Holy Cow

Oh, and just before I leave you, on a note totally unrelated to anything Chanel, children or ridiculous (this is rather serious). I would like some answers to a handful (a Sarah handful, so that's not actually all that much) of rather specific questions. All of which begin with, or contain the phrase "What the fuck?/Why the hell?". Thanks.